Review Of Nickerblog’s TOYOTA Post

I happen across the post titled Toyota on Nickerblog. It’s one of those posts. Obscenely short, a phenomenon all too common in modern blogging, accompanied with what I assume is supposed to be some kind of video to “feast” on with your eyes.

This attempt to be frugal seems at best crass and at worse arrogant on an unprecedented level. The first sentence of the post asks Remember this entry? No! I don’t! I don’t remember this entry, whatever the hell “this” means. And then, as if to slap our bleeding cheeks with the back of his bony hand, the author provides no clue as to the location of the entry to which he refers. He’s clearly trying to tell us If you haven’t read this blog before then you have all the intrinsic worth of a blind, wing-less fly frantically trying to locate the sound of the collective buzz of its brethren in order to have one final scramble around on a pile of steaming dog sh*t.

I am unable to believe the author could treat his readers (you and I) with such belligerent contempt. My face turns purple with anger at being subjected to this. I can see this hideous imitation of myself in the mirror, my skin turning dark almost as fast as my mood. Unable to face it, I take a leather brogue from my socked foot and throw it at the mirror causing it to fall and smash on the floor.

I am unable to compose myself and make any sense of the second and final sentence of the post. My teary eyes dart upwards to the video where a large silver PLAY button habits the centre of the image as though I were some kind of dolt who is unable to deal with the complexities of the of the more subtle, suitably sized PLAY button on the bottom left corner.

Unable to take this final insult, I vomit and rush to the bathroom to take any kind of pill that will numb my thoughts for a few hours.


10 Responses to “Review Of Nickerblog’s TOYOTA Post”

  1. 1 shane November 2, 2006 at 5:00 am


    My hands aren’t bony.

  2. 2 billymouth November 2, 2006 at 9:36 am

    Shane, my face remains tender from the callous back-hander your hideous Toyota post gave me. It is a pain I shan’t forget in a hurry.

  3. 3 JackyT November 2, 2006 at 1:48 pm

    Ha Ha. You tell it like it is, Billy. Shane’s blog’s been giving me those bony slaps for a long time.

  4. 4 Merlin November 2, 2006 at 1:50 pm

    “Unable to face it, I take a leather brogue from my socked foot and throw it at the mirror”

    LOL. LOL.

  5. 5 Homeboy911 November 2, 2006 at 2:29 pm

    Billy Mouth Is Da Man!

  6. 6 Lynne November 2, 2006 at 2:31 pm

    This website is vile. Who the hell do you think you are?

  7. 7 billymouth November 2, 2006 at 2:55 pm

    Vile, Lynne? Yet you keep lurking. Does my vile nature fascinate you?

  8. 8 Lynne November 2, 2006 at 4:29 pm

    I have posted once. That is hardly lurking.

  9. 9 billymouth November 2, 2006 at 4:38 pm

    The web stats tell me exactly how long you are lurking, dear. You are hanging on my every word. You simply have to know what I’m going to say next. It’s sweet really.

  10. 10 Lynne November 2, 2006 at 4:45 pm

    You’re so wrong. I couldn’t care what you have to say about anything.

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