Consolevania’s Shenmue III Appeal Post

I have only just opened this page and already I wish I’d just stayed in bed with a bottle of vodka. Just looking at the screen has made me feel dizzy and disoriented. I genuinely feel like I could vomit all over my keyboard (Again). Why? Black background and white text (I hear you all screaming at me for even providing a link).

Why do bloggers insist on making this amateurish mistake time and again? I’ll tell you why. They’re trying to say Ooh, we’re interesting. We’re a bit dark and moody. We’re a bit angry and– Oh, F*ck off! Show me black background and white text and I’ll show you a sad, Marilyn Manson idolising pantywaste whose “anger” at the world amounts to about as much as an obese flasher crying on the lavatory because he’s wiped his ass and discovered streaks of blood on the toilet paper. I’d yawn with the tedious predictability of this “gothy” outlay if I didn’t feel as though my empty, seeping eye sockets were being raped by a rabid elephant.

I try to focus on some of the site content but I can barely manage to keep my breakfast down with this dizzying monstrosity in front of me. Some boasting about how they are on the BBC, talking about how fantastic they are and providing some links to other people talking about how fantastic they are.

I screw my eyes up and I am dismayed to see that people have added comments to this so called “post” and that not one of them is demanding that the whole f*cking website just shuts down and dies.

Billy’s Rating: Presentation- 0/100 Content- Who the f*ck can tell/100 Overall- Abysmal Post.


2 Responses to “Consolevania’s Shenmue III Appeal Post”

  1. 1 John October 31, 2006 at 9:27 pm

    Or, maybe they did it because it is easier on the eyes to look at.

    exept in your case it seems; might want to invest in a bucket in close proximity to your computer. much cheaper than a new keyboard every time you feel like a whinge.

  2. 2 billymouth November 1, 2006 at 4:01 pm

    John – Why have Consolevania sent a lowly foot soldier to deal with a master rapierist?

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