Review Of JAKEBETT!’s Site Banner

Let’s talk about site banners. Or even better, you shut up and I’ll talk about site banners. Your site banner, or your logo, is the first thing that a critic sees when he visits your site. It is a vital tool in encouraging experts to let their eyes continue down the page rather than clicking that NEXT BLOG button. We all know this, right? Well could someone please tell!!! I mean, holy shit!

What’s the first thing I notice when I look at the monstrosity of a banner? Big Capital letters that read JAKEBETT! It’s not the first word of their Blog title. The title has a mind (Dire choice of word) and an of that preceed it but as they are lower case I assume they are not as important as as the grand JAKEBETT! Apparently the word JAKEBETT! is the be all and end all in this author’s world.

First off. JAKEBETT! isn’t even a word, okay? It’s like a big capitalised pile of nonsensical shittyness. Is this f***ing website even in English? I’m asking myself. JAKEBETT! Is it the blog for some Swedish self-helf group full of suicidal rubber merchants? This problem is compounded by the fact that there’s another whore’s handbag of a word directly underneath it- SMELLLLLLLLL-LA-LA-LOUW! That’s not a f***ing word either! Now I’m thinking this is definitely a foreign blog. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’ve nothing against foreign words. I just don’t ever want to have to look at them or have them in my face when I’m surfing the web. Ever! It takes me all of ten minutes to calm down and wash myself before I realise that there are other words, English words, on the banner also.

What we clearly have here is somone selling out. Someone trying to appeal to immigrants and make his blog appear as though it has foreign words but lacking the ken or intelligence to use foreign words that ACTUALLY EXIST (see I can capitalise too JAKEBETT!). Why appeal to immigrants? America is clearly appealing enough to them without you making up words to further entice them. My bleeding eyes wander and I see a pathetic attempt to spell the word Cooking at the end of the banner and I get so angry that I want insects to lay eggs inside my brain and the larvae to burst out and chew said brain into a swirly mush. I cannot stick it more and I surf on. Pathetic. Sickening.

Billy’s Rating: PRESENTATION- 3/100 WORDS- 0/100 OVERALL- Disease.


4 Responses to “Review Of JAKEBETT!’s Site Banner”

  1. 1 y2jake02 October 31, 2006 at 7:41 pm

    im flattered really. just to clear some things up, jake bett is my name and a bunch of my friend say it like it sounds like one word because its so short. thus its sounds like, JAKEBETT! it is not swedish or anything foriegn. It is just a normal everyday blog. Thanks for interjecting your opinion though

  2. 2 billymouth November 1, 2006 at 12:27 am

    You are quite clearly a Swede in denial.

  3. 3 y2jake02 November 1, 2006 at 5:26 pm

    I really hope your joking. Do you have , like, a career, or do you sit home and seriously review blog banners all day. Let me tell you, your banner really caught my eye. Billy Mouth, is that asian or something. You must be an asian in denial with that blog title. I mean I kept hitting the next blog button but I had to stop at your because its just so colorful and eye popping.Im not sure who gave you the reviewer or authority title but I would like to second the Bastard title. Oh you might want to consider putting ‘massive tool” in there as well. Do the entire blog world a favor and get a life. You know what, for a swedish person I write and speak english damn well.

  1. 1 Can you say, Wacko? « Mind of JAKEBETT! Trackback on October 31, 2006 at 6:39 pm
  2. 2 JAKEBETT! Responds. « BILLY MOUTH Trackback on November 2, 2006 at 11:37 am

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